


The Timeless Trainer

by VJuniorVasquez



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28373517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VJuniorVasquez/pseuds/VJuniorVasquez
Summary: After three years filled with adventures, Goh finally gathers up the courage to confess his love for Ash.But as soon as he discovers his crush's best hidden secret, things will never be the same…
Relationships: Gou | Goh/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Comments: 11
Kudos: 106





	The Timeless Trainer

**Author's Note:**

> This is a long one  
> Enjoy it!  
> (If you can, of course...)

* * *

In the middle of the night, in a flower field outside Vermillion City, two boys and a Pokemon were having a moment to relax…

Pikachu curled up in a ball and let out a soft coo, choosing Goh’s waist as his new resting place, his trainer looked at him with a playful look and said

“Traitor”

“Pi” The electric mouse simply said, sticking out his tongue and letting out a yawn, in a matter of seconds, Goh could feel how his breath slowed down, however, his ears started to twitch left and right, so he put a hand on his back and Pikachu calmed down, obviously relieved by the contact

“I’m surprised by how much he enjoys being with you” Ash admitted, without looking at his partner

The boy from Vermillion City let out a faint little laugh

“He trusts you so much” Ash added

“Is that so?” Goh questioned, usually Pikachu wasn’t a topic of conversation between him and his crush, but it seemed Ash had something else to say

“He’s being with all of my companions and friends throughout the years, but I don’t remember him feeling as comfortable as he does with you”

“How do you know that?”

“Oh, Pikachu and I have spent countless nights talking about you” Ash said, like that was something absolutely normal

“Really?” Goh muttered

Ash Ketchum nodded and both boys felt into one of their classic comfortable silences, simply admiring the stars above them and the sweet scents surrounding their resting place.

Goh remained there, lying in the flower field alongside that strangely enchanting trainer called Ash Ketchum, with the cloak of the night enveloping them, in that very same place where they caught their breath after their meeting (on board of a Lugia, nonetheless) almost three years ago

This time it was just the three of them (including the yellow Pokemon, of course); before going out of the Institute, he told Cinderace and Inteleon he had something special to share with Ash that night, so both of them understood and refused to accompany the teenagers.

It only took a look from Cinderace towards Lucario, and the Aura Pokemon comprehended the situation, denying with his head when Ash offered him to go to the flower field.

Ash must have been thinking about the same, because he commented:

“Tonight feels a little lonelier than usual…”

Goh’s heart fell to the floor, but he recovered quickly, he knew Ash didn’t mean it that way, so he closed his eyes and whispered

“It never feels lonely with you around…”

A quick blush appeared on Ash’s cheeks at the compliment and it faded as soon as he nodded, not a word escaping from his lips.

Goh stole a quick glance at him, he looked just as cute as the moment he fell in love with him.

At this point in time, he couldn’t deny it, he definitely had some strong feelings for the Pallet Town trainer, but the fear of rejection, loss or abandonment weighed too heavy on his heart, so, even after all these years, he couldn’t work up the courage to confess

But, maybe tonight…

He moved a little bit, trying to put his head on Ash’s shoulder, his crush understood his intentions and scooted closer. Believing that wasn’t enough, Goh wrapped his hand around Ash’s wrist and the trainer responded with a soft caress.

“I want to tell you something” Goh said out of nowhere, mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen

* * *

There was no coming back from here, he was going to say it, and above else, he was going to accept whatever fate was reserved for him.

“I want to tell you something, too” Ash said and the look he gave him made Goh’s heart drop to the ground

He was good at reading Ash’s face, nothing escaped from Goh’s sight if it had something to do with his favorite person in the world. It took him some time to understand him fully, but once he did, everything felt easier.

After three years the boy from Pallet Town didn’t change in the slightest and Goh remembered for a moment what happened a few months ago, when he turned 14 and his body began to grow at a rapid rate, much to his amusement, and Ash’s annoyingness

He liked to joke about that with Ash and the trainer would always make a pout

“I’m not sure if I’m getting taller or you are getting shorter, Pokemon Master” he said once, towering over his best friend

Ash simply huffed

“Goh”

The sound of the trainer’s voice brought him back to the present, he looked at him, he was smiling, but many things were missing, that spark of joy in his eyes, the way his nose twitched when something important was going to happen, the trembling of his lips at the prospect of an adventure or an epic situation, all of that was gone from his features…

In that moment, Ash wasn’t exactly Ash, so Goh doubted if he should say…

“You said you wanted to tell me something” the trainer interrupted him again, squeezing his hand

“You also wanted to…”

“You go first” Ash interrupted, and his tone of voice sounded like an order, one Goh couldn’t escape from

“Yes, right… You see…”

He stuttered, because of course he had to, he tried to move away, but Ash hold him firmly in his place; Pikachu felt the movement and opened his eyes, quickly jumping into the space between the two humans’ foot and making it his new nest.

“I…”

He looked up, at the billion starts covering the nightly skies, he remembered each and every night he and Ash shared a moment like this in the last three years, every wasted chance, every missed opportunity, every ignored scenario just because Goh thought it would be better if they remained _friends_ forever, if Ash didn’t know anything about him and…

“Goh”

But friendship wasn’t enough, Goh wanted more, Goh needed more, another type of contact, another kind of hug, a different smile appearing on Ash’s face every time he called his name

“Goh”

And if that didn’t happen and Ash decided to run away from his grasp, then at least he would find comfort in the fact that he tried, he risked everything for something more, even if it didn’t worked in the end

“Goh” Ash repeated

So the researcher took a deep breath and let out five simple words

“I like you, Ash Ketchum”

* * *

Ash went silent and as soon as Goh saw that same fake smile appearing on his face, he tried to get up and ran away, only to get hold in his place by Ash’s supernatural strength once again

“I’ll get it if you don’t feel the same…” Goh whispered, avoiding his crush’s gaze

For all response, Ash dropped a babbled sentence

“You like me…”

“Romantically” Goh confirmed

“Yeah, I got that…”

Goh was about to say something stupid, like the fact of how amazing it was that someone as dense as Ash Ketchum understood what he meant.

“For how long?” the other boy said, cutting him off

“Hm?”

“How long have you been feeling this way?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does” Ash insisted, he didn’t raise his voice, but still, Goh could notice this was one of those times when he couldn’t avoid a question from the other boy

“Since Ivysaur Tower…” he confessed, scared, and the way Ash’s mouth gasped forced him to continue “Or maybe since Scorbunny evolved and decided to ignore me, so you took the task of spending hours trying to make me feel better, or all those days where we stayed together battling or exploring, all those little moments we shared, all of that just make me feel… Closer to you”

Goh closed his eyes, the phantom of rejection now becoming a menacing reality between him and his crush, however, it seemed the only thing Ash could do was remaining silent, so Goh tried one more card

“I know this doesn’t make sense, but I like you since… since always, I guess… And I like you a little bit more now… Every day we are together I found that I like you a little bit more”

Even more silence

“Please, tell me this doesn’t make sense” Goh implored “Tell me this is wrong, or just tell me you don’t feel the same, but at least tell me something…”

Ash finally broke the silence and said

“That’s the most beautiful thing someone ever said to me”

Goh stopped dead in his tracks, that wasn’t the kind of reaction he expected, he also didn’t expect Ash’s arm wrapping around his waist and him coming closer to his body, resting his head on a really accelerated chest

“Calm down, Goh…” Ash said, noticing his heartbeat

“I can’t…”

“Of course you can…”

“That’s not what I meant” Goh corrected “I can’t believe I just said it, after all this time, you finally know… My biggest secret”

Ash fell into silence again and Goh felt this moment just wasn’t enough, so he questioned

“And you?”

Ash rose from his position and locked eyes with him for the briefest moment

“How do you feel about me?” the researcher let out

“I wish I could say it”

Goh was about to ask what kind of response was that when he felt Ash’s hand drawing circles in his back, the movement was so delicate, so hypnotic and soft, that he started to doze off, he tried to fight it, but it was impossible, especially considering that the fragrance of Ash’s hair was currently invading him, his head only inches below his nose…

The last thing he saw before falling asleep was a frown on Ash’s features and a weird exchange of looks between him and Pikachu, he made a mental note of speaking to Ash about that as soon as he was awake

* * *

Goh’s eyelids fluttered for a second before he finally opened his eyes, he wondered how he could be moving if he remembered just a few minutes ago he was…

“Hey”

Oh, right. Of course Ash was being kind enough to carry him all the way back to the institute, he tried to get off, but Ash hugged him and rubbed a hand on his back

“We’re halfway home” he explained in a whisper “Go back to sleep”

“I can walk on my own, Ash” the researcher complained

Ash dropped him with a half smile and both boys started to walk alongside each other. Remembering their conversation, Goh locked arms with his crush to see if he reacted in any way

Ash simply nodded at him, accepting the contact. Goh looked down; surprisingly Pikachu was walking at his side in all fours

“You can return to your spot now” Goh said looking at the electric Pokemon and patting Ash’s shoulder

Pikachu didn’t respond

“Was I too heavy?” he ventured

“It’s difficult to carry you both at the same time” Ash commented sheepishly, he tried to laugh, but no sound came out of his mouth

Pikachu was still silent, looking down. Goh suddenly remembered that weird look on his and Ash’s face back in the flower field and decided to stop, Ash looked at him curiously

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong” Ash said, raising an eyebrow

“Pi-Pika” Pikachu mimicked, but Goh could notice none of them was being sincere; he kneeled down towards the Pokemon and questioned

“Are you jealous of me? You know, for what I said about Ash?”

“Pi-Pikachu!” the Pokemon quickly chirped, denying with his head

“See? Everything’s fine” Ash said, holding the researcher’s hand and resuming the walk

Goh huffed, breaking the contact, he was sure his crush was sweating, and he doubted it was from the effort of carrying him

“What is it?” to prove he was being serious, Goh crossed his arms “Tell me now”

Pikachu looked up at his trainer, then looked down and let out a faint “Pikapi-Pika, Pika”

“What does he mean by ‘you should tell him’ Ash?” Goh said

“Look at you; you’ve become so good at understanding Pikachu”

The trainer’s attempt of deriving the conversation went nowhere and Goh started to walk again, Ash took a moment to recover and closed the distance, noticing the distraught expression on Goh’s face, he muttered

“I…”

And went silent

“I can’t… I mean… I won’t…” He tried again, to no avail

“Whatever it is, it seems like a big secret” some anger escaped from Goh’s lips alongside the words, and he sighed when he added “I guess I’m not that important to know it”

Ash wrapped his hand around his wrist and pulled, forcing his friend to face him at a really close distance, Goh’s heart leaped for a moment when he remembered why they were in that position

“Only Pikachu and I know” Ash said, then added “And a few other Pokemon, no one else…”

“You have a crush on someone else, don’t you?”

Ash quickly denied

“It’s not that, it’s much more important…”

“Meaning my feelings for you are _not_ important” Goh spitted

“I never said that” Ash countered, closing distance

“Then say what you want to say, now!”

“I can’t…”

Goh made a supreme effort to not slap his crush right there and changed the tactic, looking away, he commented

“You really didn’t answered my question back there in the field”

“Huh?”

“You never said how you feel about me” Goh insisted

“If I tell you, then everything will change” Ash replied mysteriously

“I want things to change”

“No you don’t…”

“Pi-Pikapi-Pikachu!” his eternal partner shouted from below, seemingly angry at his trainer

Ash released Goh and tightened his hands into fists

“I can’t…” he muttered

“Break my heart once and for all, Ash Ketchum” Goh pleaded

“I can’t…” the trainer repeated, shaking his head desperately

That was when Goh decided to start walking again, and the trio made their way back to the Institute without saying another word…

* * *

“Goodnight Goh” Ash said in the middle of the dark, as soon as they were both getting ready to sleep

The researcher let out an exasperated huff and Ash bit his lip. However, when he turned around to face him, he could distinguish his bright smile between the shadows.

“You have a secret” he stated, Ash tried to reply, but Goh lifted a hand, silencing him “Just like I had one of my own, so, here’s what I want you to do…”

He approached to him and rested his chin on his shoulder

“Tell me in your own time, but tell me…”

“If I do, then everything will change”

“Nothing will be the same between us again, Ash, especially not after tonight, I already accepted that, so you should do it too”

“Don’t say that! Goh, I want to be your friend, I want to keep this thing going forever, or at least for as long as we…”

“Nothing lasts forever” Goh interrupted “Not even us”

“Trust me, some things _are forever_. And besides, if I tell you, you’ll hate me, or you’ll run away from me or…”

“There’s nothing you can do that’ll make me hate you, and nothing you can say that’ll make me run away” Goh whispered, barely kissing his cheek

He started to climb his way to his bunk and froze as soon as Ash said

“Are you sure about that?”

* * *

Like every morning, Goh was tending to their Pokemon at Sakuragi Park. Ekans, Grimer, Cubone and Poliwag stopped by their side and gave him an apologetic look, Goh’s heart melted at the sight and he launched towards the four of them, hugging them at the same time

“We talked about this before guys…”

There was no response, so Goh took the time to give each of them a pat and continued:

“I don’t care if you don’t evolve; you don’t have to if you don’t want to”

The four little Pokemon looked away and Goh tightened the embrace

“And maybe you aren’t able to do it, so what? That doesn’t make you any less special”

Seeing a few smirks, Goh continued

“Each and every one of you has a special place in my heart, and that’s never going to change, I like you for what you are, you guys!”

They melted into the embrace and Goh could see their eyes shimmering with happiness, so he let go and they laughed alongside him, running away, their spirits once again lifted by Goh’s kind words

“Speaking of liking things for what they are…” Goh commented, sensing his crush’s presence

“Hey…”

“Hey…” Goh said, looking at the pond with disinterest

“I’m going to tell you” Ash exclaimed

Goh didn’t look at him

“I’m hurting you by keeping this secret, so I’ll do the same thing you did last night, I’ll risk everything and hope for the best”

“Glad I can be an example”

Ash sat by the researcher’s side and Goh noticed he was holding Pikachu, the yellow Pokemon looking down in… sadness?

“He convinced me to tell you”

Goh let out a laugh

“He’s always been smarter than you” the researcher commented

Pikachu snickered, Ash was thankful for the power Goh had to lighten the mood at the worst possible situations, but still, he adopted an stoic face and said:

“I can’t…”

“I told you that you should do it at your own…”

“Grow up” the trainer completed

Goh didn’t know how to react at that sentence

* * *

“I was 10 when it happened”

Goh remained silent and Ash bit his lip

“There was this big fight between these two really powerful Pokemon…”

“Maybe I’ll need more details” Goh interrupted

“I was afraid you’d say that… You remember Mewtwo?”

“How can I forget it? Our battles have been legendary, literally, and I always look forward for more”

“I met it before you…”

“Oh…”

“I also met Mew before you” Ash let out quickly

“Oh… Ok”

“I thought you would be angry at me”

“I’m furious you didn’t tell me before” Goh confirmed “But this is not about me, it’s about you, so please, go on”

So Ash told him everything, the invitation to the Island, the creation of the Clone Pokemon, the battle that ensued, his sacrifice to stop the collision of energy between Mewtwo and Mew and the way he was brought to life by the tears of the Pokemon and the sorrow in their hearts…

“What happened then?” Goh asked, starting to sob

“Back then, Mewtwo erased my memories of the event” Ash made a pause, it was getting harder for him to keep talking “But after a few months, I found it again and it restored everything, so… That was when I got it”

Goh didn’t say a word, but he rubbed his fingers against Ash’s own, motioning him to continue

“Something happened when I received the blast, when I was back, I couldn’t feel things the same way I used to, I started to act on impulse, like a robot, I didn’t stop to consider anything, I took risk after risk to see if I could feel… anything different”

“But I’ve seen you” Goh interrupted “I’ve seen you laugh and cry, and be happy and mad, you feel things…”

“I feel things I felt before the blast, like all of those you just mentioned, but…”

Silence

“But?”

“But I can’t feel anything new, it’s always the same, happiness for my victories, sadness for my defeats, excitement for finding something new, but… Nothing else”

Goh gulped and Ash insisted

“At some point I’ll run out of places to discover, of Pokemon to catch, of people to know…”

“What will you do then?”

“I don’t know, and that is one of the things that scare me…” Ash confessed

He fell to the ground and crawled towards Goh, putting his head on his legs, the boy from Vermillion City accepted him, taking out his cap and drawing circles on his head slowly

“Please don’t hate me”

“Ash, I’d never…”

“I was going to leave you”

“What?”

“Last night, when I told you I had something important to tell you, I was going to leave you…”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what we always do, right buddy?”

“Pika-Pikapi” Pikachu said, his voice barely a whimper

“You do hate me then”

“I don’t!” Ash shouted, his voice cracking

“Then what?”

“How long you think I’ve been travelling?”

“Well, based on how many friends you have; all the accomplishments you got and the way you look…”

“That’s the problem” Ash interrupted “Before I met you, I had been on my journey for almost four years”

“You mean…”

“I’ll turn seventeen in two months” Ash confirmed

“Impossible… Unless…”

“I haven’t aged since the moment I received that energy blast, and I’ll never will…”

“How does that have anything to do with you leaving?”

“People don’t know about what happens to me, Goh” the trainer said “So as soon as I see my friends growing up or as soon as I think I’ve been travelling with them long enough, I have to go…”

“To avoid suspicions of your…” Goh doubted for a second “…permanent state” he completed and Ash nodded

A deafening silence fell between the two boys, Goh felt this was too much information, but still, he needed to know more

“How do you deal with that?”

“I just change my clothes, trim my hair a little, put on some new sneakers and…”

“And you start another journey”

“I’m like the Pokemon you were holding just a few minutes ago, I can’t evolve, I can’t age, I can’t… move forward” Ash confirmed “I hate it and I love it at the same time”

“How can you love something like this?”

“It means I have all the time in the world to become a Pokemon Master” Ash quickly replied “It’s one of my few consolations, apart from Pikachu, of course”

At the mention of his name, Pikachu twitched his ears and jumped towards his trainer, nuzzling his cheek and offering him a weak smile

“No wonder you feel this way, after so many years, I doubt there could be something that can amaze you…”

“You are amazing, Goh”

The researcher froze in place and Ash playfully touched his knees

“The way you move around the world, the fact you’re always ready for a new adventure, the energy you’ve brought into my life, even the places I’ve already been feel like a whole new experience with you by my side…”

“Don’t be like this” Goh interrupted

“What?”

“Don’t be this cruel” Goh said, pushing him away “Stop saying those things or…”

“Those things are the truth”

“And even that truth wasn’t enough for you to stay by my side” Goh countered “You were gonna leave me, even after thinking all those…”

He was going to say ‘sweet’ but stopped at the last second

“All those dumb things about me!” he finished, his face a sobbing mess

“I’m sorry” was all that Ash could say, his heart breaking at the sight in front of him

Goh shook in his place and Ash moved away, realizing the researcher wanted to get up

He stood looking at the sun reflecting in the pond for a few seconds before saying

“So basically you’ll live forever”

“I can still die” Ash corrected “I was about to, a couple of times in the past…”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“And I can get hurt too”

“I know, I’ve wrapped your wounds before”

“Very delicately…”

“Except when I was too mad at you for risking your life…”

“Yeah, you always frown in those moments and you adjusted the bandages so much that you ended up hurting me”

“You probably deserved it back then” Goh insisted, he wanted a fight, he wanted Ash to talk back, he wanted both of them to bicker about something so stupid, like bandages, just so he could forget everything he just heard, at least for a moment, but Ash said one more thing

“I also can get sick”

“I’ve made soup for you a million times”

“Yeah, you also did that…” Ash accepted, reaching for his hand “And I never thanked you enough, it was always delicious”

“Never mind all that” Goh said, accepting the contact for the briefest of moments, he then scrunched his face and covered his eyes, sobbing again

“Oh, he’s cute and kind and attentive, and oh, he’s so good looking and brave…” he commented through gritted teeth

Ash realized he was talking about him, but Goh rose up his arms exaggeratedly and continued

“But you don’t deserve him, because he’s eternal, you’re just a grain of sand and his whole existence is a freaking dune!”

“Goh…”

“I can’t believe it, way to go Goh, you idiot, you fell in love with a Demigod!” he shouted, more to himself than to Ash,

He was trying to take this situation with a smile, but it ended up being far too much for him, so he turned around to ask Ash something else, only to see him and Pikachu staring with a puzzled expression.

“A Demigod is a mythological mortal or immortal being that…” he explained, coughing

“You never used that word” Ash interrupted him

“I never knew you were immortal”

“I’m not immortal” Ash reminded him, then added “And I wasn’t talking about that word”

“Oh… Right…” Goh coughed, realizing he said he loved his best friend

Ash got up with a jump and approached the researcher

“Is that what you feel?”

“I told you I liked you romantically, so yes, it’s basically the same”

Then the trainer kneeled a little and impacted his head against Goh’s chest

“This just makes things worse!”

And before Goh could ask why, he rambled:

“You love me, but I never felt like that, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel, because I don’t even feel it!”

“Maybe you just don’t like me…”

“Don’t say those things, Goh!” Ash shouted with a mixture of desperation and anger “If there’s one thing I’m sure is that I want to feel the same things you feel for me”

“It doesn’t work that way…”

“And if you love me, then the only thing I wish is… to love you back, so please, help me love you back” he stuttered, breaking down

“I don’t think love is something that can be taught, Ash” the researcher said, crushing his body against the trainer, tightening the hug until it hurt his bones

“Then…” Ash wanted to continue, but no sounds came out of his mouth

Goh traced a line with his fingers from Ash’s nose to his chest, he was trying to find the right words to calm him down, until

“If I can’t give you what you need Goh, then I want this to stop” Ash blurted, then looking at his best friend, added “Help me stop this”

“You’re not gonna give up eternity just for me, Ash Ketchum”

The trainer wiped his tears and gave him a determined look before stating

“I want to… So please, help me Goh”

“I don’t know how…”

He planted a quick kiss on Ash’s forehead and said

“But I know who may be able to do it, and what’s best, I know how to contact it…”

* * *

Goh waited until sundown, the last thing Ash and him needed was Sakuragi or one of his assistants being witnesses of what was (hopefully) about to happen, then, he reunited Ekans, Grimer, Cubone and Poliwag around him

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, stuttering

The four Pokemon nodded

“Thanks guys, and remember you are my friends, no matter what happens, okay?”

After another nod, Goh changed his attitude drastically

“The four of you are so useless!” he shouted “I can’t believe I caught you, I wasted four precious pokeballs on you! You’re so weak, and…”

Ekans covered behind Grimer, both of them trembling

“Pathetic, just look at you, one worse than the other”

Cubone approached him and tried to hug him, only for Goh to snatch his bone out of his hands and throw it at Poliwag’s direction

“Useless!” he repeated, filled with rage

His Pokemon stepped back and Goh kicked the ground below him, covering them in dust

“I hate you, you pieces of…!”

“ENOUGH!” a voice boomed

Goh knew it worked and silently thanked his Pokemon, who also smiled; his happy expression didn’t last for long, as he soon felt how he was floating above the ground and immediately crashing against a tree

He opened his eyes weakly only to stare at the immense silhouette of Mewtwo

“YOU…” the legendary being said “WHAT WERE YOU DOING?”

“Listen to me…”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THE FEW HUMANS…” Mewtwo shouted

“Listen!” Goh pleaded

“…THAT I COULD TRUST!”

“Read my mind!” Goh said with all the strength he could muster

Mewtwo turned the head around and complied, only to frown

“THIS IS A RUSE?” It questioned, just as Ash appeared at Goh’s side to help him get up

Goh touched his crush’s face for a moment and whispered

“He needs your help”

Then Mewtwo descended to the ground and stayed there, ready to listen

* * *

Ash stood at a respectable distance from Goh and the legendary Pokemon, both of them asked for some privacy to talk and he had to agree, even if he hated not being able to know what they were saying.

Judging for Goh’s expression, things weren’t exactly right

Mewtwo rose a few centimeters above the pond and touched the waters with its feet

“I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD A PARADISE LIKE MINE, CATCHER” it expressed mentally

Goh scoffed a little at the nickname and commented

“You’re always welcomed here, Mewtwo”

“THAT IS NICE TO KNOW, HOWEVER, I DON’T LIKE YOUR METHOD OF CONTACT”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t wait for a chance encounter, trust me, we need you, both of us”

“I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT”

“Now, about Ash…”

A psywave was all the proof Goh needed to know Mewtwo was considering the situation

“I’M AFRAID ASH’S CONDITION IS… IRREVERSIBLE” it finally let out; even its thoughts were filled with a dread tone

“But… there’s got to be something you can do, you are the most powerful Pokemon in existence”

“A MISLEADING LIE I TOLD YOU WHEN WE FIRST MET” Mewtwo admitted “HOWEVER, MY POINT STANDS, ASH WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH THIS, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, AND THERE’S NO ONE WHO CAN CHANGE THAT”

“Mewtwo” Goh said, stopping and taking the Pokemon’s hand, the legendary entity flinched at the contact, but the teen didn’t let go

“You have to do… something” he said, tears forming down his eyes

Mewtwo scrutinized the boy’s face and frowned

“Oh… You know what I’m thinking about, then” Goh muttered

“I JUST SAW IT… IN YOUR EYES…”

“Then?” Goh questioned

“NOT THAT” Mewtwo blasted sternly “NEVER THAT, YOU CANNOT ASK ME…”

“I can, and I’m doing it right now… Please”

“YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY COMPREHEND THE CONSEQUENCES”

“Mewtwo…” Goh whispered and the Pokemon paid attention to his next words “I don’t care about the consequences…”

Both of them stared at Ash Ketchum, absentmindedly playing with his Pikachu in the distance

“I don’t care about the consequences…” Goh repeated “I care about the cause…”

“IF THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, I SHALL RETURN IN A DAY”

“Come back in the early morning” Goh negotiated “We can’t risk you being seen by other humans”

“YOU NEED TIME TO RECONSIDER…”

“I don’t” Goh replied quickly

“IN THAT CASE… _WE_ WILL SEE YOU THEN” Mewtwo said

After that, it disappeared. Goh ran to Ash’s side and wrapped an arm around his neck.

“So…?” the trainer questioned

“Everything will be fine, Ash…” was all that Goh said “Let’s get ready for tomorrow”

A single cloud covered the moon, and Ash failed to see the tears going down Goh’s eyes.

* * *

“You took your time there” Ash said as soon as Goh entered their shared bedroom

“A complicated phone call, that’s all” Goh admitted

“With your mom…”

“Were you spying on me?” Goh questioned, crossing his arms

“I’d never” Ash defended himself “It’s just you said ‘Mom’ like a thousand times there”

“Right… But everything’s fine now” Goh said, bopping Ash’s nose “As fine as you’ll be tomorrow”

“Maybe I should have told you all of this earlier” Ash said, looking at the other boy “If I did, maybe you’d have helped me sooner”

“You can count on that, but maybe I should have confessed sooner, too” Goh replied, climbing to his bunk

“I trust in Mewtwo, and I especially trust you” Ash interrupted the researcher’s march and continued “But still, I’m a little scared”

Goh extended his arm towards the trainer and whispered:

“If you want to, I could…”

Ash took his hand and squeezed it as hard as he could

“Please”

In a matter of seconds, the two of them were cuddling in Ash’s bed, each of them worried, for different reasons

“What if this fails?” Goh said, shuddering “What if you stay like this, forever?”

“Then I’ll stay here” Ash confessed “Just for you…”

“It’s gonna break your heart seeing me growing up…”

“I’ll stay here” Ash repeated “For as long as you want, it’s the least I can do for someone like you, Goh”

“What if eventually I grow old and…” the researcher made a pause, hoping Ash could fill in the blanks

“Then that day my heart will surely break” Ash muttered, understanding “But you really think you could spend the rest of your days with an eternal 10 year old boy?”

“You look like you have 13, though” Goh said

And they both laughed, trying to contain their tears and doing the impossible to hide their fears

“I’m serious” Ash insisted

“It’s been a blast spending these last three years with you Ash, I can only imagine how eternity could feel by your side” Goh replied, pinching his left cheek

“Oh…” was the only thing the trainer could say

“Oh?”

“That’s also the most beautiful thing someone ever said to me…”

“You silly immortal”

“Not immortal…” Ash repeated, taking a deep breath

After a few seconds of silence, he took shelter in Goh’s chest and spoke again

“You were right when you said nothing lasts forever”

“Yes…” the researcher muttered, stroking the trainer’s back and ignoring his tears rolling down his cheek “And you were right when you said everything will change…”

As soon as he felt Ash snoring, Goh gently kissed his cheek

Then he waited with his eyes opened until the clock stroke 4 AM

* * *

They made their way back to the pond holding hands, his four most faithful companions following them closely, until Goh stopped and turned around, Ash squeezed his hand, not wanting to let him go.

“You guys stay here” Goh said to the Pokemon

Cinderace and Inteleon took a step towards him, not happy with the decision, automatically, Lucario and Pikachu imitated them, all of them knew what was happening and what was about to transpire and none of them wanted to leave their humans alone

“Please guys” Goh insisted “The psychic blast Mewtwo is gonna throw at Ash is only for him, it could affect you in ways we can’t imagine”

The Pokemon huffed and took a step backwards, nodding, Ash and Goh resumed the walk and the researcher bit his lip; he hated lying to his friends, but there was no alternative.

Mewtwo was already waiting for them and Goh released Ash’s hand, the trainer looked at him with a questioning look and Goh patted the ground, kneeling in front of him

Ash sat and Goh looked at him straight in the eyes

“I’ll be behind Mewtwo the whole time, ok?” he promised “I won’t move from there, I swear” he emphasized the last part

“Okay” Ash muttered

“And remember that whatever happens now, it was my idea…”

“I trust you” Ash whispered and the other boy offered him a weak smile

For a moment, Goh saw a scared teenager reflecting in Ash’s features, so he closed the distance between them and gave him a little kiss on the lips

“Sorry!” he said immediately, breaking the contact and realizing his mistake “I guess I’m nervous too”

“Don’t be sorry” Ash replied quickly and Goh saw a glimmer of excitement in his eyes, a spark of joy than never saw before

“See you in a minute” the trainer added, watching his dear research fellow go and fixing his eyes on Mewtwo

“I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR THIS” the legendary said

“I am” Ash replied, closing his eyes

“I WASN’T TALKING TO HIM” Mewtwo echoed, only for Goh’s mind

“I know that, but he doesn’t…” the researcher replied, starting to cry for the umpteenth time that day

“STAY LIKE THAT, WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED” Mewtwo suggested

Ash took a deep breath and obeyed

“IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD” Mewtwo insisted, starting to generate a wave of blue light in its hands

Goh, watching from a distance, turned around, feeling a presence

“Hey” he waved to the expected intruder, gently floating above the pond “I’m glad Mewtwo convinced you to do this”

The being remained silent

“If this fails… I’m happy I was able to see you, one last time”

The entity approached him

“Not that close” Goh reminded it and then, swallowing hard, added “Do it now, I’m ready”

“Mew…” the Mythical Pokemon said, forming a wall of pink energy around itself

* * *

By the time the Pokemon realized what was truly about to happen, it was too late, Pikachu jumped to Lucario’s shoulder, and the Aura Pokemon launched at full speed towards the pond.

Cinderace let out an anguished scream, and Inteleon wrapped his tail around his waist, dragging him towards Goh.

Ash heard the commotion and opened his eyes, only to see Mewtwo turning around and expelling its powers towards the pond

“I’M SO SORRY…” it exclaimed in his head

“What are you…”

Goh ran towards the bigger legendary, feeling the impact of Mew’s attack first, by the time Mewtwo’s blast made contact with his body, he let out a cry and his eyes went blank

“Goh!” Ash shouted, moving Mewtwo out of the way and running towards the researcher

The other boy took a step towards him and while he was closing distance, Ash thought for a moment everything was alright, he ran as fast as he could, shouting his name over and over again and to his surprise and hope, Goh seemingly listened to him, turning his head in an impossible cute way and smiling

“I love you” he mouthed as Ash rushed even more

In the moment he kneeled in front of him and touched his face, Ash gulped, the world around him broke into a million pieces, beyond repair

A petrified Goh was lying flat on the grass, his eyes fixed on Ash’s irises forever

“Goh!” the trainer shouted, shaking him angrily

“Goh!” he repeated, desperately trying to make him come back

“Goh!” he said once more, when he felt a kick on his side

He turned around and around, holding the burning side of his body and got up, only to see Cinderace and Inteleon standing in front of Goh’s motionless body, he held his waist and refrained himself from screaming, surely they wouldn’t…

Inteleon attacked him with a Sniper Shot directly to his left shoulder and Ash fell to the ground once more, he got up and Inteleon pointed at him angrily, ready to shoot again

”I didn’t know this was going to happen!” Ash shouted

But his own scream got nullified by Cinderace’s final, heartbroken call. In a moment, the earth began to shake and one by one, from the little ones like Pidgey to the huge ones like Golurk, all of Goh’s Pokemon surrounded the fallen teenager, a few seconds passed and Cinderace stopped crying, hitting Goh’s chest with one hand and caressing his petrified hair with the other

The rest of the Pokemon understood what happened and joined him in a mournful weep

Mew and Mewtwo were now floating side by side and Ash crawled to them, all under the furious gaze of a crying Inteleon

“Why…”

He stopped, coughed and looked up quickly; not wanting to make sure that what came out of his mouth was blood

“Why did you do that?”

“THIS WAS THE PLAN SINCE THE BEGINNING” Mewtwo echoed

“But Goh said he was going to help me…”

“THIS IS HIS WAY OF HELPING YOU”

Ash looked back at the circle surrounding Goh, even the Pokemon he didn’t thought could cry were bawling at their trainer’s demise, but something was definitely wrong

“He’s not waking up” Ash said

For all response, Mew disappeared

“Why is he not waking up?” the trainer shouted “When this happened to me it didn’t take that long!”

“THE REST IS UP TO YOU, ASH KETCHUM… PROVE GOH WAS RIGHT, DO WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO DO…” Mewtwo said, before following its smaller clone, vanishing in the dark of the night

Ash’s face got covered by a shadow and he turned around, facing Lucario and Pikachu, his faithful friend was standing in an attack position, perched on the Aura Pokemon’s shoulder

“Guys… It wasn’t my fault”

Lucario growled at him and throw him a punch as fast as he could, but just like in the past when he was a baby Riolu, Ash was able to hold it firmly in his place

“Trust me” he repeated, gaining two growls in response “I didn’t know, now if you could help me…”

But Pikachu and Lucario stayed there, they wouldn’t interfere, but apparently they didn’t want to help his trainer either, so Ash dragged his feet all the way towards Goh

And fell to the floor as soon as another Sniper Shot made contact with his left knee, he swallowed the pain and rose up once more, only to see Scyther appear in front of him

“Scy…” the bug Pokemon threatened, pressing one of his blades against Ash’s cheeks, the trainer closed his eyes, tasting the blood and spitting it

“I didn’t want this…” he whispered

“Scy…” Scyther repeated, flying away

A stone impacted his chest, and Ash barely had time to dive into the grass before feeling a barrage of stones hitting his whole body, he heard the agonic cry of Aerodactyl in the distance and coughed as soon as the poison from Goh’s trio of Dustox reached his lungs

“I should have known…” he said, not sure if anyone could really hear him “I should have known Goh would do something like this…”

He tried to cover himself with his vest, but someone (he wasn’t sure if it was Binacle or Parasect) snatched it away from him

The side of his body that was burning suddenly completely froze and Ash silently cursed Dewgong

The freezing temperatures made him cough again and this time, he saw the blood escaping his mouth, a few drops of it landed on Greedent’s feet and the Pokemon snapped, biting Ash’s left hand as hard as he could, the trainer winced and kicked him away

Then the rest became a blur, he felt pinches, fire, stings, poison, pecks, shocks, all of them combined at some point

So he simply stayed there, expecting to succumb to the attacks of his deceased best friend’s Pokemon, his best friend, gone by his own fault, Mismagius added in his mind, only deepening his suffering

* * *

When he thought he couldn’t endure it anymore, everything simply stopped

The attacks, the pain, the wailing, the shouting, the guilt, everything came to a halt and Ash opened his eyes. Cinderace was holding a Pyro Ball on his feet and Inteleon was, yet again, pointing at his body

“You are here to finish me once and for all?” Ash questioned, realizing those two attacks at point-blank range would surely be fatal

And that would probably be for the best

Instead, both Pokemon simply turned around and left the place, Ash got up as best as he could and observed his own Pokemon surrounding Goh’s lifeless body, he moved with difficulty, expecting a new attack or an ambush at any moment, but nothing occurred, and he found a spot in the grass between Sirfetch’d and Gengar

The creatures around him remained silent, but Ash couldn’t contain it anymore and shouted into the skies

“Why? Why did you have to do this?”

Goh didn’t say a thing

“Why did you think this would solve things in any way?”

Silence

“Why did you believe I could help you? I told you I don’t feel the love you feel; I don’t even know how I am supposed to feel, Goh!”

No response, Ash fell between the researcher’s cold, hard, unmoving arms and whispered

“I don’t love you, not as much as you love me…”

He started to cry, inconsolably, indefinitely, perpetually, if he was going to live forever, then he suddenly decided he would spend eternity by Goh’s side, he screamed, and shouted, and twisted his wrists slamming them against Goh’s chest, he implored and raged and cursed Mewtwo, and Mew, and the whole Pantheon of Legends and Myths, and took his hat and let it loose on the early morning wind, losing sight of it as he was losing hope of bringing his dear research fellow back…

“Why did you do this…” he whispered again, coughing up blood, saliva, poison

At that point, not even he cared, he expected another attack, a last blow, a finishing assault, nothing came and he finally understood the revenge of Goh’s Pokemon was letting him _alive_ , with the knowledge of the tragedy he caused, only because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, because he was unable to hide a secret that he hid from the rest of the world…

But not from Goh, he told him and now he was gone because of him and it was all his fault, and he cried and cried and his tears formed a storm, a flood, a river that crossed over Goh’s unmoving torso

“Why…” he repeated over and over again, knowing he would never get a response, he would never understand why this happened, he would never reach a conclusion.

* * *

He failed to notice the soft wind blowing his hair, the smallest of breezes, not exactly the air…

He didn’t feel the way the world crumbled below him, the crackling, the shattering, how something moved, not exactly the earth…

He was unable to perceive the warmth surrounding him, the fever enveloping his whole body, the temperature rising, not exactly fire…

A drop of water fell between his messy hair and he instinctively reached for it, freezing for a moment, he barely moved his fingers, sensing it as delicately as he could, and wondering what it was, not exactly rain…

Not exactly the air, but a faint breathing…

Not exactly the earth, but muscles moving below him…

Not exactly fire, but heat making contact with his damaged, tired body…

Not exactly water, but tears, very much like his own, but that didn’t belong to him…

And finally, the ultimate proof, not exactly a song, but a voice, very much like an impossible melody, one he thought he would never hear again

“Hey…” someone said

Ash simply stayed there, unmoving, unflinching, frozen, convinced that this was something he didn’t deserve

“Hey…” the voice repeated, and a hand crawled from the ground, slowly touching his cheek and Ash tried not to flinch at the contact with his cut, but ultimately failed

“You forgot to mention that you hear everything when you are petrified…”

It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, this was Stantler’s or Exeggutor’s doing

“Please, look at me already”

He succumbed due to Ariados lethal stings, or maybe Flygon’s claws pierced through his heart and now he was in a twisted version of the afterlife…

“I’m sorry it took me so long to wake up”

And Ash’s heart exploded as soon as he heard that phrase

“Sorry?” he shouted, getting up and looking at a very much alive Goh “How can you be sorry for that?”

Ash’s body failed and he fell in one swoop motion, Goh swiftly caught him and cradled him, and shielded him from the obscurity, and protected him from his own dark thoughts, and his dear research fellow became, once again, like a few hours ago, like the previous night, like the last three years of his eternal life, a shelter, a haven, a safe place where he could lie…

“Why…” the word escaped from his lips once again, filled with dread, and rage, and confusion

“Don’t talk yet…” Goh whispered, looking at the Pokemon surrounding him, he extending his hand and pleaded:

“Guys…”

Pikachu curled up around his arm, Dragonite covered his teary eyes, Gengar gave him his brightest, biggest smile, Lucario crossed his arms alongside his chest and Sirfetch’d made a reverence

“Go to the others… And tell them to give us some privacy, please”

“You can talk now…” Goh said, kissing Ash’s forehead as soon as the Pokemon were gone from his sight

“Why?” Ash simply repeated

“I told you I’d help you”

“I thought you were gonna fix me” the everlasting trainer stuttered

“You can’t go back Ash” Goh finally confessed “You’ll have to get used to being like this forever, but still, there’s nothing wrong with you, nothing that has to be fixed”

“Then why did you do all of this?”

“You still don’t get it, do you?” Goh said, fixing his eyes on Ash’s cuts “You are eternal, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend eternity alone”

“What?”

“You won’t have to keep saying goodbye, and you’ll always have a human friend by your side, someone that will always be with you, no matter what”

Doubtfully, Goh added, rubbing his own arm

“That is, if you want to, of course”

“Of course I want to!” Ash shouted, perhaps a little too loud “I’ll always want you, Goh!” he added, wiping his tears again and hugging the researcher’s waist

“That’s the most beautiful thing someone ever said to me” Goh said, his muscles not reacting as swiftly as he expected

And the puzzle on Ash’s mind was finally complete, except for one little piece

“All your Pokemon cried for you…”

“I heard them” Goh confirmed

“And you didn’t wake up”

“I needed one more push, obviously”

For all response, Ash gave him one of his cutest ‘I don’t understand’ looks

“I needed you, you silly immortal”

And for once, Ash didn’t correct him, but insisted on something he knew, or at least, he thought he knew

“But I don’t feel…”

Goh interrupted him, pressing his lips against his cheek; he gently cupped his face up and forced him to lie on top of his body

“You simply never loved someone before, did you?” he gave him another peck and continued “You told me so many beautiful things, things I’ve never heard you say about _anyone_ , so I did the same thing we’ve both been doing these last few days, I took a risk”

Ash listened attentively, and Goh continued

“All those cute things made me think that maybe you did feel something for me, so I told Mewtwo I wanted this, it told me that if your sorrow wasn’t enough then I’d never wake up”

“And still you…”

“I trusted you, Ash” Goh interrupted “You never failed me, why would you do it now?”

Ash’s heart leaped when Goh added

“And I saw the way you looked at me when I kissed you” he said, the color finally returning to his face with a not-so faint blush

“I… liked that” Ash admitted

“I liked that too, very much” Goh confessed, without letting go

“But how is this gonna work from now on? I’m 17 or 10? Will you be stuck on 14 forever or can we still celebrate your birthdays?”

“That is what worries you now?” Goh questioned, raising an eyebrow “Come here, my silly immortal”

“We’re not immortal”

“No, we’re not” Goh repeated, pressing their foreheads together

Ash rubbed a thumb against Goh’s cheek and the researcher gently kissed the boy’s lacerated fingers, when he saw that same shimmering look in his boyfriend’s irises, Goh faintly said

“Ash… we have company”

As soon as he realized they were being observed, Ash broke the hug and got up as best as he could, he took a few steps back, not wanting to enrage Goh’s Pokemon even more

“I’m still a little frozen” Goh said below him, barely extending an arm towards his feet “A little help, please”

Without losing sight of the creatures surrounding them, Ash helped Goh get up and the researcher was quickly enveloped in a hug by Cinderace and Inteleon

Meanwhile, the rest of the Pokemon gave Ash an apologetic look and the boy simply smiled at them

“Don’t worry, I get why you acted that way”

He was about to say he would’ve done the same, but he lost balance and was quickly held by Lucario, he threw himself at the arms of them and the rest of his Pokemon, not really knowing what to say, Pikachu appeared at his side, returning his signature cap to his hands and the whole group smiled

* * *

They stayed like that for a few seconds, until the dawn of a new day started to cover their faces, a small shadow fall upon Ash and he opened his eyes, smiling at his boyfriend

“You look different”

“Different how?” Goh questioned, crossing his arms

“Cuter” Ash confirmed

“Oh sh-shut up” Goh stuttered, a new blush appearing on his face

“What are we going to tell to your parents?”

“Mom kinda knows something already…”

“You were talking to her last night”

Goh simply nodded

“What did she say?”

“Something about the importance of true love” Goh replied sheepishly and laughed as soon as he saw the blush on Ash’s face

“But what about the Professor? And our Research? And what will happen with…?” Ash insisted

“We have all the time in the world to worry about those things” Goh reminded him

“All the time in the world, with you… That sounds wonderful”

“Look at you…” Goh said, hugging his eternal trainer and resting his head on his shoulder “So short and so cute”

“Don’t joke about that” Ash huffed

“We’re stuck here, so I literally have the whole eternity to joke about that, Ash Ketchum” his boyfriend insisted

Ash smiled in response but flinched a little and Goh frowned as his numerous cuts and bruises, his Pokemon definitely did a number on the trainer

“I’ll go get the bandages” the researcher said, turning around

“THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY” a voice echoed in everyone’s minds

A hand passed gently above Ash’s head and in a matter of seconds, he could feel how all his wounds healed, except for a few bruises (that Goh would take care of eventually)

“Thanks…” Ash whispered to the Pokemon floating over them

“YOU’RE MOST WELCOME” Mewtwo replied, fading away again

A cute little laugh echoed in the distance, and Goh smiled

“I’ll get you one of these days!” he promised, suspecting Mew was still close “I’ll have a million opportunities to catch you!”

He looked at the trainer at his side and they both locked eyes, smiling

“After all, the future lies in _our_ hands” he commented, locking fingers with his boyfriend

“Now and forever…” Ash concluded, finally taking the chance to kiss Goh again

* * *

THE END

Or, to be specific…

THE BEGINNING

**Author's Note:**

> So... Here I am, waiting for your comments!  
> This little humble writer hopes to see you, very soon!


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